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misterq
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Wow...first one here. That's amusing and amazing which are
two entirely different words though they sound alike. Anyway, is
it a bad thing when you wake up to find yourself in some other room that
you don't remember being in, and upon walking out of said room you
enter a cocktail party where people in brass hats inform you that you
are not who you are? I mean, is that bad?
message 1/9096 1999-12-20 08:57:28 (-0600)
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kurrok
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Is it a bad thing when...
This girl is pregnant and she says it's by you. A year and three months after the baby is born, you (being the so-called father) decide to take a paternity test because she (she being the mother of the baby) is sueing you for child support. Keep in mind that she (the mother again, keep up with me here) has not let you see this baby for at least 6 months. Ok? Are you pissed off yet? I thought so. Anyway, you get the paternity test back in about 4 weeks and it tell you that you are not the father of this baby. My question is, is it a bad thing to jump up and down in a happy fit because I didn't reproduce yet? I'm thinking, me reproducing right now would be a bad thing.
message 2/9096 1999-12-20 08:59:16 (-0600)
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smitty
user #31
406 posts
3 karma points
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subject: no subject
in response to kurrok:
You are entitled to:

1: A Happy Dance in your living room

2: A countersuit of the "mother" who obviously has more miles on her odometer than originally declared.

3: One beer

Smitty
message 3/9096 1999-12-20 15:53:00 (-0600)
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stinna
no longer a member
subject: no subject
in response to smitty:

don't forget the snack crackers
message 4/9096 1999-12-21 03:45:01 (-0600)
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brett_nelson69
no longer a member
subject: no subject
in response to smitty:

Just one beer?
Better make it two.
message 5/9096 1999-12-22 06:04:17 (-0600)
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hellion
user #1270
2372 posts
12 karma points
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in response to smitty:
sorry, hon, hate to inform you, but you can't countersue.
(is it a bad thing to be sixteen years old and work in a family law office?)
message 6/9096 1999-12-22 20:08:58 (-0600)
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copybitch
user #51093
401 posts
4 karma points
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To Kurrok:

Yes, I believe, you are entitled to at least one happy dance! Some women (and, to be fair, some men, too...) are just messed up and waiting to make other people's lives miserable. As one who believes in the relentless practice of birth control (thank you, I'm not ready to be responsible for anything more than a houseplant right now), please protect yourself from these idiots who would want to make a father out of you. That way, if someone tries to pull this "you're the father of my baby" crap again, you can tell her to take a pacifier and cram it up her ass!
message 7/9096 1999-12-23 03:59:11 (-0600)
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pastina18
user #15601
1 posts
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how do you email this guy who runs this thing or whatever
message 8/9096 1999-12-23 06:15:31 (-0600)
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tollfree
user #1688
296 posts
3 karma points
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in response to hellion:


(is it a bad thing to be sixteen years old and work in a family law office?)

No, but what would be the bad thing would be to grow up aspiring to be a lawyer!

hehe



Toll Free
message 9/9096 1999-12-23 07:02:09 (-0600)
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tollfree
user #1688
296 posts
3 karma points
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in response to copybitch:

"you can tell her to take a pacifier and cram it up her ass!"

And if you can get her to do this, get pics!!! We will all get rich selling them to one of the sick fetish sites!

But seriously, I have 4 kids, and they are all proof that birth control DOESN'T always work..

1 rubber baby (no jokes, please)
1 diaphragm baby
1 pill baby
1 sponge / foam baby...

So, tell me about it. If you don't want to be a mother / father, I suggest you learn your hand / finger intimately!

==Toll Free==
message 10/9096 1999-12-23 07:04:52 (-0600)
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jonesboy
user #68249
3 posts
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...is it a bad thing when I look over at my boost gauge and it says 23lbs?

...consequently, is it a bad thing when I find out that there's a 1/2" hole melted through my #1 piston?
message 11/9096 1999-12-23 12:31:05 (-0600)
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smitty
user #31
406 posts
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in response to hellion:
Then, if kurrok can't countersue, can he give her one, sharp, forceful kick in the...um...birth canal, for being such a manipulative soul-crushing, math-inmpaired skank?

Either that or a court-ordered warning tattoo on her pubis along the lines of "Warning! May fuck with your head until your scream, then sue you for child-support."

Smitty

message 12/9096 1999-12-23 16:13:49 (-0600)
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smitty
user #31
406 posts
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in response to jonesboy:
It's not a bad thing if the hole is just melted. Seeing the #4 rod saw through the side of the block is a bad thing.

smitty
message 13/9096 1999-12-23 16:17:10 (-0600)
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m2
user #3953
300 posts
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it's a bad thing when i'm at the health club working on my great chisled features and i go to take a shower and this guy in the shower keeps checking me out. but that's not the half of it... he leaves the shower and as he's leaving i see a rainbow heart tatooed on his shoulder!
m2
message 14/9096 1999-12-25 12:54:21 (-0600)
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smitty
user #31
406 posts
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in response to m2:

Nothing wrong with getting an appreciative look or four, hell, it might even make you day. But an explicit invitation to play hide the sausage would probably not make your day. As long as the other party understands the concept of "Thanks, but no thanks..." and leaves it at that, then whatthefuck?

Smitty
message 15/9096 1999-12-25 13:15:31 (-0600)
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ripe-with-decay
user #760
2632 posts
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in response to smitty:


I agree, my friend. It doesn't matter what gender has the notion - if you are getting looks from anyone, you should be flattered. I bet you wouldn't have minded if some chick was staring at your "chisled" body while you were in the shower, huh m2? Just accept the fact that the guy has the added perk of being gay, and (as smitty said) make sure he doesn't get the "wrong idea."

RWD
message 16/9096 1999-12-25 13:56:40 (-0600)
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pseudoshipoopi
user #274
181 posts
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Is it a bad thing when you accidentally spill coffee on this really cute guy, and then he gives you his phone number? And then you meet and find that you're really likely to be a great pair? Then (bear with me!) is it a bad thing that IF your parents walk in on you making out, they would disown you?

~My shitty life!
~!PseudoShipoopi
message 17/9096 1999-12-25 18:32:24 (-0600)
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hellion
user #1270
2372 posts
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parents suck. seriously.
they can be pretty cool sometimes, but you have to watch out.
just don't do such things when they might walk in.
message 18/9096 1999-12-25 18:49:11 (-0600)
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m2
user #3953
300 posts
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i told a joke to my 16 y/o sister and she and she ended up telling her pre calc class the teacher thought it was kinda funny but not approriate for school but since it was during their holiday party on the last day before break he didn't punish her. but anyway we were at our friends/neighbors house the next night doing the christmas thing and i told the joke to them my dad (who is real strict about jokes) kinda shook his head at me and i looked at my sister and said "at least i didn't tell my whole pre-calc class" and now she feels that she can't trust me anymore and won't tell me anything else(espcialy all that hot high school gossip i love so much) so i guess that were gonna have to work on that... who else has issues with siblings????
m2
message 19/9096 1999-12-26 10:09:14 (-0600)
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bigwillyphily
user #2256
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in response to pseudoshipoopi:
Oh man, these people I know were fukin in this girls car and the chick knocked her cell phone and it callled her mom!!!

sucks to be them!!!

OBG
message 20/9096 1999-12-26 15:46:20 (-0600)
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ragqueen
user #2065
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is it a bad thing when your cousin loses her virginity to M2?
message 21/9096 1999-12-26 23:42:27 (-0600)
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auroraskye-jax
no longer a member
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in response to bigwillyphily:

Damn man I am so glad my cel phone has a neat little bonus called keypad lock... No one will ever hear what kind of strange things I like to do in my car with out me calling them up personally and saying " hey wanna hear me and _____ fuck? ... get a newer cel; remember technology is on our side.
message 22/9096 1999-12-27 12:47:29 (-0600)
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m2
user #3953
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we got another xmas card with a letter today, from a guy my dad used to work with. it tells the usual shit and them it comes to the part about their 16 y/o son who just got his liscense. the father procedes to tell that the son drives their old 1990 dodge caravan that his older sister has dubbed "the shagwaggon" my question is this... does the dad know what shag means, and if yes why would he wanna tell friends,family,& co-workers that his son(who is 16) is fuckin' people in their van? in my opinion that more or less what the dad is approving by writing that statement. also i went to the office supply store today and there were a bunch of amish guys hanging out by the small bussiness machines???WTF!!
m2
message 23/9096 1999-12-27 14:02:16 (-0600)
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smitty
user #31
406 posts
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in response to m2:
Pops probably has no idea of the real meaning of Shagwagon. He probably thinks Sonny is going to reupholster in orange shag rug so Sonny and his friends can "go camping". If Sonny wants to outrage Pops, he should call the Dodge the Fuck Truck or the Poontang Express. An airburshed mural of some Viking Tart on the side should clue Pops in.

Amish in the 'puter store doesn't scare me as much as the coal-fired Alpha Server they're building out of hand-hewn pine. Is an Amish Porno site not far away???

Smitty
message 24/9096 1999-12-27 18:52:12 (-0600)
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deeph2o
user #2351
2838 posts
13 karma points
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in response to smitty:
Yeah... Their hair will be uncovered, loose, and draped over their shoulders...

You may speak now,

Deepwater
message 25/9096 1999-12-27 20:12:03 (-0600)
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smitty
user #31
406 posts
3 karma points
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in response to deeph2o:
Lookit that! Uncovered ankle! Well, spill my seed on the ground, Jeddidiah!

Smitty
message 26/9096 1999-12-27 21:14:25 (-0600)
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zoso
user #1617
17 posts
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Its a bad thing when you go out with saposed ot be one friend
and they bring two other people which your conversation would involve
one of them is your own g/f whome freaks out on you and embarresses you in front of a whole resturant making you feel like an ass whipe
www.whatthefuck.com thank god for this site
message 27/9096 1999-12-27 21:32:52 (-0600)
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deeph2o
user #2351
2838 posts
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in response to smitty:

All I can do is laugh...

You may speak now,

Deepwater
message 28/9096 1999-12-28 15:47:23 (-0600)
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deeph2o
user #2351
2838 posts
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...Is it a bad thing when you love climbing so much that when you look at pictures of Alaskan peaks you get a woodrow?...Or does it just mean I need a woman?

You may speak now,

Deepwater
message 29/9096 1999-12-28 22:45:26 (-0600)
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dmfreak
no longer a member
subject: no subject
in response to deeph2o:

WOW
I'm pretty sure you need to get a piece of ass
There's this thing you might of heard of...but keep it on the D/L
(((((((masturbation)))))))
and don't say you don't partake in it...
there are only two types of people in the world....
Those who masturbate and those who deny it
message 30/9096 1999-12-29 07:18:12 (-0600)
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