Ok people's.... welcome to another column by me! (as if there was ever a first, which there wasn't until now, but now there is, so get over it!)

So here I am, joining the whatthefuck.com team as a new and improved current event commentator. I don't pretend to know anything, in fact I have an entire philosophy about knowing next to nothing. So if something I say seems to be slightly off the mark, make sure to e-mail me immediately, informing me of my uninformed ego, and I will be sure to not give a fuck. If you want to know anything more about me, well, that's what profiles are for.

Another thing to set the record straight, some of you have heard, and yes, Blue and I are now an 'us'.

Seeing as how this is the first, we'll make it short and sweet. I want to address something that both pisses me off, and I find to be absolutely hilarious at the same time. Which is kind of ironic now that I think about it...

Now we all know about this 'ILOVEYOU' virus that is apparently got our country in a headlock, if only for a short while. If you know nothing about it, what the hell are you doing reading a current event commentary??? 

The current attention that this particular virus has been getting revived some old thoughts in my head that I had stored away.

We live in a technological age, and the way that our country is progressing, we use these nifty little boxes called computers more and more to access all sorts of nifty little things. Sometimes these nifty little things can be of some importance, like stocks, credit card numbers... the sorts of things that you wouldn't want to be out in public where your everyday Joe Shmoe could stumble upon. Yet ironically, hundreds of thousands of idiots in today's world mess around on these boxes, with little to no idea of what they are doing, putting sensitive information on thin ice. Probably the only reason I feel comfortable enough putting my credit card number on eBay and all that shit is because there are so many more potential victims out there, I have a better chance of a flying pig out of hell pulling gold nuggets out of my ass then getting hit myself.

I frequently make comparisons to the automobile and computer industry. For instance, we will allow some 40-year-old redneck to go out and get one of these things (provided he has the money, or ammunition to do so), and let him attempt to roam about on the ?net, happy as a pig in shit, with absolutely no idea of what he is doing. Then we will watch him get his pants all in a tizz when he calls ?tech support' saying that he cannot connect to god-knows-what. Tech support then reply's by saying that he needs to purchase a modem to go along with his nifty computer, and in addition to that, sign up for an ISP. Mr. Redneck then accuses Mr. Computer Company of trying to rob him of and this country of all his money, and saying that Intel (AMD, Microsoft, etc...) is unconstitutional, and all that shit.

This I can happily compare to someone purchasing a car, and expecting to travel without gas, the occasional oil change, maybe a driver's license would be nice as well. Yet we don't expect such things, do we? We know the care and maintenance that needs to go into an automobile... at least that it needs to go to the pump when the needle reaches the 'E'. Yet we can sell these computers that are capable of destroying our nations economy several times over to absolute dumb asses!

THEN the part that really gets me is when all these people complain when something like this 'LOVEBUG' happens. That whoever is responsible for making sure this doesn't happen isn't doing their job. God damn, these people are trying to prevent all sorts of nasty virus's and other scripts from going into the 'net and infesting the mass's computers. And we rely to heavily on them. We expect them to make this new information age to be like some sort of utopia where you can go ahead and leave your front door unlocked when you head to work in the morning! Yet in reality, this age will be just like the others when it comes to crime and deceit. People still need to watch their backs, and when they don't they blame the most convenient scapegoat.

If you ask me, the world needs a good kick in the ass every now and then, to wake it up. And that is what I feel these little disasters, like Mr. I Love You Virus, provide us. Something that says the human race is it's own worst enemy, and we better start watching each other's backs if we're to make it anywhere at all this millennium. There are lots of freaks out there, you and me being two of them. And we need to provide these kicks in the ass to those that ask for them. Not that I am saying we need to, or we should, infest the web with viruses designed to destroy the world as we know it, I'm just saying we need to make sure that people start proving Darwin correct here, and that we are capable of learning from mistakes we have made in the past.

Feel free to e-mail me with any thing you want to hear about. Tell me about your own views towards our current situations, and what you would like to hear me rant about.

Ok... go away. I'm tired!

I leave you with this.

Some things turn rotten some things forgotten

And you can only walk with the gods for so long

Things can never be the same again

Only for a second I would grab that moment

And realize I'd done no good

Cause I was wrong I was wrong anyway

And nothing I can do or say

Can bring me back in the light of day

Cause I've already tasted adventure

And I've already lost my place

I'll never quite know what I've lost since I've fallen from grace...

And people talk on and people walk on

But I hear them whisper to put the lock on

Things can never be the same again

Cause I wasn't there at the right moment

And everything I said was misunderstood

But I was wrong I was wrong anyway

All my fair weather friends 

Bow their heads and turn away

I can't seem to shake off the pressure

The shame makes me cover my face

You don't quite know how you have changed until you've fallen from grace...

Please forgive me for having it in me

I'm only human, I'm a man, what I can be

And I know I can never be a god among men

I wasted that moment that valuable moment

Hear me, I beg I just want to make good

But I was wrong I was wrong anyway

And nothing I can do or say

Can bring me back in the light of day

Cause I've already tasted the torture

I've all but surrendered my space

You'll never believe all I gained since I've fallen from grace...

--Xe