Unless you've been drinking far too much, you've heard about 3D video.

This shit's been around for years and years, so it's nothing new in principle. In practice, however, new and weird stuff has been happening only recently with the introduction of the first consumer grade 3D TV sets.

Sadly, the resolution of these new-fangled TVs is still measured as X by Y, and you need special glasses in order to get the benefits. And of course, 3D content is all overblown - shit reaching out to you from the set, explosions in your lap (well, that's kind of cool, I guess), and robot arms cracking eggs onto your kneecaps. Ultimately, you're still viewing two slightly different perspectives of a flat plane.

Where are the TVs that boast a resolution of 1920 by 1080 by 1024? THAT's 3D I want to see!

I envision the TV of the future (real 3D, not the current crap crop of 2.5D TVs) to be little more than an inch-thick plane of 80-inch diagonal plastic sitting atop a little, black box. The screen itself, assuming the aforementioned 1920x1080x1024 resolution, would be able to place a dot of any color and transparency at any of 2,123,366,400 specific locations within the screen, instead of today's 2,073,600 (1920x1080) pixels across a flat plane. It is totally transparent (though, of course, one of the 1024 planes could be used as a back-light).

(Is this patentable? Should I call a lawyer?)

Today's 3D TVs are limited in that they can only show two perspectives of a scene at once. If you are sitting more than a few degrees from center, your brain identifies that the perspective is fucked up and your suspension of disbelief is mashed. The further from center you get, the flatter the picture appears.

Tomorrow's real 3D TVs will actually display 3-dimensional pictures within the screen itself. No more glasses! Images will have actual, seeable depth! If you move to the side, you see more of that side of the objects and people in the screen. Of course, if the screen is only an inch thick, you will still see the flattening of perspective - it'll just be a lot less disconcerting. With the even more futuristic addition of position-sensing glasses (or really futuristic lenses built into the screen itself), this flattening could be virtually eliminated.

Today's 3D video is typically shot with 2 cameras setup side-by-side, approximately as far apart as a big-headed person's eyes would be.

Tomorrow's 3D video will be shot with at least 5 cameras - one centered (just like normal filming today), and 4 others arranged around it at least a foot or two away. Of course, these cameras will need to be fitted with 3D mapping hardware as well. The footage from each camera will consist of a visual track, an audio track (or multiple audio tracks), and a space-mapping track. Editing software and hardware will need to be updated to deal with that last track, which contains 3D data about the scene. The 3D TVs we'll be watching then will ultimately use this mapping track to fit all 5 (or more) perspectives into a 3-dimensional workspace (i.e. the 1920x1080x1024 screen).

I look forward to the demo at CES 2025. There will be an 80-inch screen that is one inch thick with a resolution of 1920 by 1080 by 1024 that is viewable from all sides and angles, including from the edges and from behind. The demo footage will need to be computer-generated, at least at the beginning, and will be an ant-hill simulation (remember those plastic ant habitats with clear gelatin instead of dirt?). Or one of those kinetic sculptures like in every freakin' mall you've ever been to.

3D is a matter of subtleties, not in-your-face effects (fun as they are). It is interesting the the technology must be so fantastic in order to accomplish the simplest visual tricks.

At CES 2050, HTV (Holographic TV)!