There is something to be said about the differences between men and women. Perhaps in our curiosity we seek out a person that closely fits the definitions of ourselves, but rarely find one that actually comes close to breaking the lines of difference. It becomes an addiction to find the 'ideal' person, rather than finding someone that compromises the aspects of oneself. The all true saying... "we want what we cannot have."
    So, for three days I had ran surveys within McLeary's chat room; randomly questioning up to 15 men and 11 women on dating, sex, and relationship issues. Through this alone I have learned that the men way outnumber the women on this site. Or... the women just hide better than the men do.
    In an overall scope of the surveys, one can tell that the men and women both seek the same things. But... what exactly are they looking for when they go about their search? What deep and personal aspects of the opposite sex are these people desperately seeking in another? And what, pray tell, is their favorite flavor of sex...


Vanilla, Chocolate, or Strawberry?

dilanium: "...either vanilla or strawberry depending on how I feel...NEVER chocolate."

    This question I asked at random without giving any specifics. I have learned through asking a person this question you can get a slight depth into how open they are to things.
    Most people that choose vanilla are very open, experiment, and are curious. Vanilla can turn into anything. It can become chocolate, strawberry, or even topped off with whip cream. These people like to create their own sundaes. The flavors of these people are endless.
    Most who choose Chocolate are much more conservative in their tastes. They don't like to change much, and there isn't much you can change about them. You might be able to add some whip cream, but I wouldn't try topping them with fruit.
    Strawberry is different, it is a more desired flavor because it is something that must be craved. Unlike Vanilla and Chocolate, you actually have to go out and find this flavor because it's most likely not going to be in reach when you crave it the most. There is no need in changing a Strawberry's flavor...they are full of it.


    So... what is the most desired flavor of sex on whatthefuck? Strawberry.


    I questioned the men first on where they would go, if anywhere, to seek out a woman. Possibly believing that there was indeed a place that men went out to find their flavor of the evening... perhaps I was wrong...

nevir: "...wait, GO somewhere? like, in real life?"

unaffiliated: "uh... If I had any idea maybe I wouldn't be single? I have no idea where girls go or what they do."

    So... I believe if we women were sitting around at some comfortable spot we would be shit out of luck if these guys were looking. The majority of the men are not actively seeking women; they wait for the women to approach them. But there is just one problem...

genipher: "I do NOT approach guys."

    The majority of the women out there do not approach guys. They are waiting for the men to approach them first. It is no wonder that there are so many single people out there in the world today.
    So what happens if a guy does approach a girl? What should he say? What would she say? The endless amount of questioning one takes before actually stepping forward. Though...I would suggest highly by the results of these surveys that you never, ever ask a woman...

astriom: "... can I get that to go?"

    The most likely response from the female would be to walk away, or to kick you. For some reason the women believe that kicking a man in his shin is the best possible answer to any pick up line imaginable. At least... for some...

behka: "... only if you paid and have a receipt..."

hellion: "... please drive through the second window..."

    So far we've figured out that men don't really like to go out seeking and approaching women, and women don't really like to approach guys. Not to forget that it is important not to use overrated pick up lines. But what is the best thing to say when approaching someone? Survey says...

geewhiz: "Hello, how are you today?"

    And for obvious reasons, never ever do this...

unaffiliated: "...so do you like...stuff?"

    Cause its just not going to get you anywhere with any male or female. Or, you might get an answer so dreadful... so cursed... that it would sound just like this...

vera: "... please give me your A/S/L ..."

    What do you wear? Or perhaps, what should you do at a party if you really want a guy or a girl to notice you? The most unexpected acts are always the most eye catching... but how can you really pull off sucking a stray in?

kit: "... a combo of the dark mysterious one by himself..."

behka: "... if the mysterious guy responded when I talked to him..."

technoir: "..loud, not all shy and timid waiting for the guys to notice them...the ones who go out of their way to make sure you notice them..."

    The majority of the women would go for the dark and mysterious look, or the freaky look, following closely behind the outgoing male. Perhaps it's just that curiosity of the unknown... or could be that you just might have cool clothes.
    Men on the other hand are not looking for that shy and hidden girl within a party. They are looking for the one that seems to be good eye candy and have a sense of forwardness.
    By the way...what is eye candy?

mascarea: "... smile, then eyes, then tummy..."

cyco: "... her legs..."

naiiad: "umm...bumms & bellies... & legs..."

wiccedus: "...skin..."

kai-thedeadassassin: "...I'm a total package deal guy. Everything has to fit well together..."

debug: "...a nice smile that will melt your heart.."

    The majority of men out there, women, are actively looking to see if you have nice legs, a nice tummy, and striking eyes. The women on the other hand seem to be looking for a little pudgy in your belly, smooth skin, and a nice smile. Might be a good excuse to drink a beer...or a better excuse to buy her another one.
    Or...there are always women that find this a great asset...

jealious: "...his wallet.."

    Now...if you got past all that... if you were actually able to suck someone into a conversation long enough that they might be wondering about you.... What actually is that person seeking to find?

dav: "... she has to be attractive, smart, and a good sense of humor... "

vera: "... honesty and total entertainment for at least the first 24 hours... "

geewhiz: "... intelligence is important, knowledge of the world and what is available..."

behka: "...overall I look at the facial features and if he's taller than me... they have to be smart, sweet, and funny.... meanness to me will not be tolerated..."

    Humor is the best approach to keep someone at the table. At least long enough to get their phone number. Although I've found by popular vote that it isn't best to check out or hit on the waitress during your conversation. Best to keep your hands on the table, and your eyes focused. Otherwise you'll be left calling yourself at the end of the night... and bandaging open wounds.

dilanium: "...I'd ignore him until he touches me, he touches me I'll break his arm..."

    Maybe you can get lucky and bring that someone back home with you... then what? Exactly how do they like their sex... maybe they are kinky, perhaps they don't really like being kinky... you could always refer to the flavor question... but what if that didn't really quite get it? So what position does the majority of men and women like?

zeal: "...me on top.."

kraig: "hmm... I guess girl on top..."

naiiad: "...I guess I'm pretty kinky... no pain ... I'm very much a sexy pagan nymph.."

astriom: "... I be tarzan... she be gothic jane..."

kinkyfreak69: "...the kinkiest kinky sex that anyone ever kinked..."

batteryoperatedlettuce: "...more kinky than you could possibly imagine..."

    Obviously the majority of the men and women out there are kinky, and want the girl on top, not that the women seem to mind this at all. Most like to experiment to a point, and like to try new things, but I wouldn't suggest it on your first night out. Otherwise when you wake up... you might be expected to have these qualities ready for grab.

hellion: "... trust, compassion, unconditional love, understanding, sex a minimum of six times a week, expensive presents when they can afford them, and oral sex..."

unaffiliated: "..to get back in the kitchen and make me a fucking sandwich..."

gen: "... I expect him not to tell me ten times a day how fucked up women are..."

geewhiz: "... I expect her to have motivation beyond partying and going to the gym..."

    So, perhaps you've found someone that you can cope with, that you can get along with well enough to start something. The most important things that people are actively seeking within a relationship are trust, compassion, affection, honesty, and for someone to just be themselves. It seems easy enough right?
    As for romance... the men seem to be more romantic than the women.. Seems that we are looking on to deeper things than romantic evenings and love sonnets.

hellion: "...I don't know. I guess I don't really see things I do in terms of 'romantic'."

khz: "...romantic...I'll have to pass on that one..."

    What sorts of gifts are always great to give, just to show off your thoughtfulness? Take a hint from a few of these people... it might actually get you somewhere...

outzider: "...a framed portrait, done for me of her..."

kai-thedeadassassin: "...sex..."

hellion: "...I wrote my current guy a poem!"

smokes: "...I once drove like 3 hours to get sand from a beach we made love on and gave it to her in a bottle as an anniversary present..."

    So perhaps you're not the relationship type, or you're to shy to actually go out and seek someone to compliment you. There is always online. Survey says that the majority of the people online believe that a deep and meaningful relationship can build between 0 to 3 months, and after that all you have to do is afford a plane ticket. Actually meeting the person of your dreams can be nice at times... although you do have to watch out for bad habits. The biggest turn off for both men and women seems to be smoking, not taking care of yourself, and having a bad attitude.

kai-thedeadassassin: "...cigarettes...instant no go..."

outzider: "..seriously though, just a lack of cleanliness.."

drumstick: "...rude attitude..."

    So now that we're past the part of getting and keeping the other, at least for a short time. What possibly could you say to screw that up?

smokes: "...I once told a girl that I loved her, but this was the first hint I gave her that I liked her...."

kai-thedeadassassin: "...wow, you totally don't LOOK like you've had two kids!"

hellion: "...I just got my tonsils out, wanna see the holes?"

    It's really best to watch what you say in your most drunken moments.

    Sex seems to be one of the biggest important things of a relationship. It is the medium, the stress reliever, and the comforter between times of bitchiness and responsibilities.

cyco: "...for her to be nice and supportive and of course sex..."

obsession: "...rough hard sex..."

zeal: "...intense but kinky sex..."

    It is the one thing that is always on another's mind. So much...that it could be just like food...

outzider: "...pistachios. You can keep having them and never fill up, but once you see what you're doing, you don't want to touch them again."

dilanium: "...steak, juicy and good, but not necessary.."

technoir: "...sometimes it's like ice-cream on a hot summer day...you gotta get it before it gets to sticky and gooey to clean up..."

vera: "...raw cherries..."

rancor: "...grilled shrimp..."

wiccedus: "...feta cheese..."

kraig: "...sushi.."

xe: "...jello..."

obesession: "...a popcicle.."

kai-thedeadassassin: "...lobster...out of my price range and impossible to find around here..."

    You want to order out...or in for dinner?


    Most of the men had a hard time answering what their best feature was. It seems that men have a slightly lower sense of esteem than the women do in this specific area. It wasn't hard for them to pick out what their favorite features of the opposite sex was, but after much thinking and concentration it all boiled down to...

fearfactory: "...hell I don't even have a feature..."

    Men seemed to find their best features within themselves, as women found their best features outside of themselves. Perhaps it's because when women seek men they look inside, and when men seek women they look first to the outside. Each seeks the others best features, just in opposite directions.
    So, after this survey was done and finished. I went over all the work and decided that everyone was completely insane and diagnosed them as such, but I'm sure you all knew that.
    It boils down to a few simple things. Everyone is looking for the same aspects in another, yet no one wants to put forth the effort to approach or to seek. Even in an online atmosphere it seems that there is an overwhelming shyness about approaching someone. It's best to remember that always being the shy timid one isn't the best approach, people like to witness your personality and delve into conversation.
    We all have a slight kinky side, and stepping up to experimentation is always a best endeavor. Just don't overwhelm yourself, a lot of people seem at first frightened by what they have not experienced already.
    No matter how hard it may seem, it is important to be straightforward and honest. Trust within any relationship, even casual sex, is always the best option. You don't want to end up with something that you just can't seem to get rid of. Especially if it's something you can't cure.
    We all seek a better half other than ourselves or someone that simply seems just like us. Finding the 'ideal' isn't always easy...but the search for it might just be fun. You can always fall back on porn and a bottle of whiskey while your waiting.
    So why is the title called 'Cake'? Because like cake, dating and relationships have many flavors and layers...so it brought me to one more question. Can you have your cake and eat it too? Well... just think to yourself... are you getting anywhere just staring at it?

astriom: "...cake, definatly cake.."