From the moment that my first column went out everyone believed that it was about sex. And I had warned everyone, if they kept on saying it, that I would eventually write a column specifically on that topic. So...you can think of this as being your entire fault.


Friends with Benefits
...and how to get it for free...


    What exactly is a friend with benefits? Well it's surely not the person in charge of your insurance policy. Usually it is a friend, a comrade, or your most personal... and yes I mean personal... partner in crime. And one that is hopefully a little well endowed.

    Sex is like food. If you don't believe me you could go look at the grocery list in the last column I wrote. It's a natural addiction between opposite sexes; the only problem is... getting it. Most believe that the only way to obtain a sexual relationship is to have a relationship. I am here to prove you wrong. ::grins::

    Just getting sex isn't what is on another's mind. It is having that comfort that two people share within it. Sex doesn't have to be 'love-making' or 'spiritually-binding'...it just has to be meaningful. And no one is going to find meaningful sex in a one-night stand with a drunken stranger they picked up at the local bar. The only place they are going to find meaningful and understanding sex is in someone who understands them. A lot of times this all boils down to a certain group of people.... your friends.

    Yes... I'll already answer the first question that pops into your mind. Heh. It is true that there is a possibility that it could ruin the original foundation the friendship was built upon. That is why there should be certain rules and aspects laid out before hand. Such as the following:

1: Understanding of the other person's feelings. Communicate your wants and your needs before ever approaching the idea. First and foremost know and welcome the thoughts of the other person. Do not be afraid to ask questions and do not be afraid to answer theirs. The most important thing is to remember that it is a friendship...just a little more detailed.

2: Honesty. Never assume anything about the other person. Do not allow any walls to build. You must stay open and honest with your friend. Always and never forget, that that is also one of the things that made you friends in the first place. If either of you wish to stop at any time, or one has found someone that they would rather have a relationship with...you MUST above all things be honest with your friend in explanation.

3: Do NOT expect things. You went into this under the understanding that it was a temporary ordeal, you were honest in your approach about how you felt and how they felt, and the worst thing to do would be to ruin it all by expecting the impossible. A relationship such as this has no ties, and no binds. It is open and it is a blunt approach. Do not try and read between the lines, and do not try and assume what the other wants. Expecting things from the other person tends to break the overall reasoning behind it.

4: Remember that, in a sense, you have no rights of control. If/when the relationship might come to a possible end, remember that even though there may be feelings of jealousy and hurt, that neither side has right to jealousy. The only true hurt would be if you lost your friend all together. So it is important not to try and control a relationship like this. Remember that this is a free and open friendship of comfort and understanding.

    And if just talking and communicating isn't going to get the job done, you can go with plan two. Here, I give you the Application for Sex. Free for print and distribution for your most up close and personal friends.

[printable]

    Remember that there's no sex like free sex. And if you're going to get it, you might as well reap the benefits from your friends, they always have more than you do anyways.