Smjör!
Oh God! Not the evil clowns again! No, please, no!
Listen up people, cause I'm pissed. In the past three weeks, I've gotten a total of two emails. Two. That's it. What is the deal? I read the boards. I've read "Is it a bad thing whenÉ" Don't tell me you guys don't have problems, cause you all are about the most fucked up group of people I've ever encountered. So how's about you all start telling me your problems, so that I can have something to write about in my little column here, how about that? It doesn't matter what you need advice about. I'm the all purpose advice giver. I can help with everything from training your dog to training your boyfriend. So write to me. Please. I'm bored and this is my only form of entertainment.
Q: I'm 18 years old, just finishing high school this year. I find myself somewhat attractive, but most of the guys around me are... well, not that pleasing to the eye. Don't get me wrong, some of them are very nice to me and all of that, but... what can I do to find someone who's at least *attractive*?
A: Where are you looking for these guys? If you are just looking in your school, then you should try somewhere else. A lot of people in high school limit themselves just to the people in their schools. Go to parties. Check out the guys there. Network. Or, you could do what other people do, and stop being so goddamned shallow and try to appreciate the people around you for more than their physical appearance. I've got news for you honey, most of the attractive guys are assholes. You know why they are assholes? Because they know they can get away with it cause they are good looking. I say stick with the ugly guys who are nice to you. Life isn't beautiful, and neither are the people in it. The pretty ones are ugly on the inside, and the ugly ones are usually breathtaking inside. It's up to you to decide which is better.
Q: I AM 15M THIS IS MY PROB. I AM IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND 15F AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HER OR IF I SHOULD. SHE IS CURRENTLY INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE. PLEASE HELP ME
A: Easy on the caps lock kid. You're not the anti-e.e.cummings. Anyway, this is a pretty damn good question, and one that I agonized over for almost a week. Falling in love with your best friend can be one of the most agonizing things in the world. This has happened to me, and it has happened to people I know. Of course you want to tell the other person, but you fear that it will screw up the relationship. And your situation is further complicated because your friend is already dating someone.
The first thing you need to consider is whether or now she's happy with the guy she's with right now. If she is happy and having a lovely little relationship with him, then you are pretty much screwed for the time being.
If she doesn't seem particularly happy with the guy she's with, then I say tell her. Maybe she feels the same way, but hasn't told you for the same reasons you haven't told her yet. If everything works out well, you could end up making your relationship as friends into something even better.
To be completely honest with you, I don't know what the best thing to do is. Personally, I would tell her. Other people would tend to disagree with me. Either way, you're probably fucked, but at least if you tell her you won't be fucked AND regretful of what you didn't do. Trust me on this. If you don't tell her, and you don't fall out of love with her, it's going to end up like some screwed up version of "My Best Friend's Wedding." And nobody wants that.
Q: I'm 18 years old, just finishing high school this year. I find myself somewhat attractive, but most of the guys around me are... well, not that pleasing to the eye. Don't get me wrong, some of them are very nice to me and all of that, but... what can I do to find someone who's at least *attractive*?
A: Where are you looking for these guys? If you are just looking in your school, then you should try somewhere else. A lot of people in high school limit themselves just to the people in their schools. Go to parties. Check out the guys there. Network. Or, you could do what other people do, and stop being so goddamned shallow and try to appreciate the people around you for more than their physical appearance. I've got news for you honey, most of the attractive guys are assholes. You know why they are assholes? Because they know they can get away with it cause they are good looking. I say stick with the ugly guys who are nice to you. Life isn't beautiful, and neither are the people in it. The pretty ones are ugly on the inside, and the ugly ones are usually breathtaking inside. It's up to you to decide which is better.
Q: I AM 15M THIS IS MY PROB. I AM IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND 15F AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HER OR IF I SHOULD. SHE IS CURRENTLY INVOLVED WITH SOMEONE. PLEASE HELP ME
A: Easy on the caps lock kid. You're not the anti-e.e.cummings. Anyway, this is a pretty damn good question, and one that I agonized over for almost a week. Falling in love with your best friend can be one of the most agonizing things in the world. This has happened to me, and it has happened to people I know. Of course you want to tell the other person, but you fear that it will screw up the relationship. And your situation is further complicated because your friend is already dating someone.
The first thing you need to consider is whether or now she's happy with the guy she's with right now. If she is happy and having a lovely little relationship with him, then you are pretty much screwed for the time being.
If she doesn't seem particularly happy with the guy she's with, then I say tell her. Maybe she feels the same way, but hasn't told you for the same reasons you haven't told her yet. If everything works out well, you could end up making your relationship as friends into something even better.
To be completely honest with you, I don't know what the best thing to do is. Personally, I would tell her. Other people would tend to disagree with me. Either way, you're probably fucked, but at least if you tell her you won't be fucked AND regretful of what you didn't do. Trust me on this. If you don't tell her, and you don't fall out of love with her, it's going to end up like some screwed up version of "My Best Friend's Wedding." And nobody wants that.
smjor is a regular advice columnist, standing up for the truth no matter how much it hurts. you may send comments, questions, or calls for help to her at smjor@whatthefuck.com.