The Dogs of War

posted by grasshead, 2008-09-05 at 20:48
Volume 1, Issue 1: grasshead takes on current technology news and opinion, and wants your vote to succeed. should he be a columnist?

my column, let me show you it

posted by homeslice, 2008-06-12 at 16:40
and he made it to #2. in his second edition, homeslice stumps for a leading candidate and proves he's black where it counts.

my column, let me show you it

posted by homeslice, 2008-05-09 at 12:04
homeslice exposes himself in his first column of many... about whatever he feels like.

happy holidays

posted by oZ, 2007-12-25 at 10:42
and a merry christmas: oZ wishes you all a merry christmas and happy holidays, and that's about it

welcome back.

posted by oZ, 2007-11-06 at 15:00
in soviet russia, site updates you.

oops, i did it again

posted by oZ, 2007-05-07 at 20:12
trials and tribulations: oZ is on the soapbox, or perhaps a rocky outcropping, showing off the stone tablets of seven years of bad code.

I fucked your mom

posted by oZ, 2004-09-02 at 15:57
and your mom won.: whatthefuck.com is dead, long live whatthefuck.com.

hushed voices

posted by oZ, 2004-04-05 at 15:38
god damn mother fucker: sure, nothing's been happening. at least we have a good reason.

The Prince is Giving a Ball

posted by oZ, 2003-09-17 at 12:23
Fucking your mother at light speed!: outZider is announcing a bit of possible downtime today, and honing the fine art of begging. [Updated 8:15 pm CT]

Ingested Plastic

posted by nevir, 2003-09-11 at 13:48
Free MAGIC DECODER RING insidethiscolumn!: nevir has a tendency to do things like... well... innocently fight the tyranny of general mills.

Beyond the Red Door

posted by Kai, 2003-01-06 at 15:27
This was a school once: A story of the great war, an anti-utopian view of our future.

As Whatthefuck Turns

posted by Kai and Poae, 2003-01-03 at 15:39
Part Two: A Shortcut to Mushrooms: Penelope plays a little Mario Brothers and Kevin discovers that his lightsabre is fun in this new episode of As Whatthefuck Turns...

Delusions of Mediocrity

posted by ripe-with-decay, 2002-12-19 at 13:11
The Subjugation of the Subjugated: a reflection of balance, in finances, government, and corporate presence.

Beyond the Red Door

posted by Kai, 2002-12-18 at 18:20
the countdown to target acquisition.

Toward the Within

posted by poae, 2002-11-03 at 16:00
Females: poae unlocks a few secrets about females. the males thought they knew this, and the females won't admit to any of it. you be the judge.

The Muppet Show

posted by ironkitten82, 2002-08-29 at 14:25
A society like no other: Kit shares her views on 1337ness. w00t.

As Whatthefuck Turns

posted by Kai and Poae, 2002-08-25 at 21:56
The Introduction: A www.whatthefuck.com soap opera "bursts" onto the scene, replacing the wide and gaping void that The Watcher left behind. Should they stay or should they go?

the state of the internet

posted by oZ, 2002-08-21 at 22:40
who's your cremepuff?: oZ returns with his semi-regular, drug and alcohol induced update on what's new in the land of Q.

Beyond the Red Door

posted by Kai, 2002-08-20 at 20:09
One Possible Future: Stare at your shoes, kick a few rocks, because it's happy fun time with Kai!

Toward the Within

posted by poae, 2002-07-18 at 22:18
Friends with Benefits... and how to get it for free: poae delivers her own bit of expanded advice regarding worry free intercourse among friends and acquaintances.

There's No Mystery Here...

posted by enigma.xi, 2002-07-09 at 16:50
By the Hands of Great Men: enigma.xi reenters the columnist race with a commentary on the recent issues affecting the catholic church.

Beyond the Red Door

posted by Kai, 2002-06-25 at 12:57
Starvation- a Metaphor So Thick You Could Choke on It: A seemingly harmless "experiment" going much further than anyone has expected.

Nobody Ever Expects the Headbutt

posted by smokesnotes, 2002-06-17 at 15:26
What to do about the ever rising n00b epidemic: smokesnotes takes the whatthefuck.com chat n00bs head on in a fight to save sanity and readability in our favorite realtime bar.

Toward the Within

posted by poae, 2002-06-09 at 20:05
Cake; to eat... or not to eat... that is the question: poae surveys the population of whatthefuck.com trying to find the secrets between men and women.

the state of the internet

posted by oZ, 2002-06-07 at 18:10
taking q from the back side: outZider busts it out with a board update, donation information, a little downtime, and a brand spankin' new administrator.

Beyond the Red Door

posted by Kai, 2002-06-06 at 12:46
Rollercoaster Friday: Kai is entering the columnist running with a deviation from his former work. Focusing on fictional work tied to his persona but not necessarily related to him, he proves his knack for writing once again.

Delusions of Mediocrity

posted by ripe-with-decay, 2002-06-03 at 12:07
There is nothing lying between what is good and what is evil: ripe-with-decay returns, discussing individuality and the constantly moving target of 'being normal' in today's society.

whatthefuck.com roundtable followup

posted by oZ, 2002-05-31 at 14:27
see the transcript of last night's discussion; whether you weren't there, got pissed off, too tired, or were just plain lazy.

Ingested Plastic

posted by nevir, 2002-02-21 at 15:36
Can You Hear the Ringing? nevir runs off on another drunken tangent. this time, it's something he might know about: Drinking.

Whatthefuck is wrong with Kansas?

posted by zair, 2002-02-15 at 15:32
zair gives it another go regarding schooling, the internet, and copying another's work.

Delusions of Mediocrity

posted by ripe-with-decay, 2002-02-12 at 13:01
The Beginning of the End, the End of the Now: ripe-with-decay explores our inherent obsession with the present combined with our ignorance of what's coming ahead.

Ingested Plastic

posted by nevir, 2001-12-18 at 01:55
Take It All, Bitch: nevir discusses the fine art of theft.

There's No Mystery Here...

posted by enigma.xi, 2001-11-14 at 13:16
The Burden of Proof: by picking through cause and effect, enigma.xi explains and justifies the united states' attack on the taliban, afghanistan, osama bin laden, and the al qaeda.

the future of our community...

posted by oZ, 2001-11-07 at 22:33
outZider quells the rumors, spells, noisemakers and party poopers in this fun filled adventure we call www.whatthefuck.com

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2001-10-15 at 13:04
People who are bleeding profusely from their butts, and riding on public buses, are generally going to be having bigger problems than anthrax.: smjor discusses the latest scare, and moves on with the problems in her 'regular' way.

Ingested Plastic

posted by nevir, 2001-10-14 at 20:48
Nevir Judge a Book by its Lover: nevir, fearing a long and thoughtful column, discusses (loosely) the merits of his top five books of all time.

There's No Mystery Here...

posted by enigma.xi, 2001-10-12 at 13:23
The State of the Free World Address: enigma.xi explores the recent attacks on america, offering discussion, compassion, and theory to the chaos.

whatthefuck did they just do?

posted by oZ, 2001-09-12 at 20:06
outZider decided he needed to say something, and since he's an admin, he's going to be an asshole and post it here anyway.

Second Genesis

posted by Grey Warden, 2001-08-29 at 00:10
The story of whatthefuck.com: Let's take it from the top...

Left. Left. Left, right, left.

posted by homeslice, 2001-08-29 at 00:09
potential columnist! vote now!
homeslice takes us on a little political commentary regarding the recent tax cuts in the united states.

The Fifth Day

posted by enigma.xi, 2001-08-29 at 00:07
potential columnist! vote now!
enigma.xi explores the so-called progression of mankind into God.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2001-08-29 at 00:05
Smjor returns: will she stay or will she go?
Smjor brings you: Children are like pets, except that you get arrested if they die.

Ingested Plastic

posted by nevir, 2001-08-28 at 23:47
potential columnist! vote now!
Oh my god, that is a good muffin! -- nevir takes a tangent and runs with it. quickly.

Delusions of Mediocrity

posted by ripe-with-decay, 2001-04-11 at 22:23
wanting to be something...

The Adventures of an Asshole

posted by Kai, 2000-11-28 at 16:45
The Last Straw

The Adventures of an Asshole

posted by Kai, 2000-10-20 at 15:05
Rinse, lather, repeat, ad infinitum...

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-09-29 at 11:00
God no! Not the buttworms!

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-09-19 at 13:15
Virgin Mary, fucking hail thee!

The Adventures of an Asshole

posted by Kai, 2000-09-18 at 10:30
He couldn't believe how easy it was... he put the gun into his face...

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-09-11 at 10:45
I see the light... it burns!

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-08-30 at 09:36
Smjor Über Alles!

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-07-27 at 07:55
we proudly present a new and improved column from our lovely advice columnist, Smjor! "It melts with your own body heat!"

The Adventures of an Asshole

posted by Kai, 2000-07-25 at 14:05
kai ponders where home really is...

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-06-27 at 10:06
:: insert obscenity here ::: Smjor arrives again, pissed off, bitter, and ready for more of your problems.

The Adventures of an Asshole

posted by Kai, 2000-06-26 at 16:02
the redemption of the asshole.

The Adventures of an Asshole

posted by Kai, 2000-06-12 at 10:45
kai returns with a descent into being alone.

wtf goes to 93X-Fest

posted by Grey Warden, 2000-05-27 at 14:00
Day One of our report on 93X-Fest in Somerset, WI.

Rob and Dave and Life

posted by rob and dave, 2000-05-23 at 11:38
Rob and Dave return once again, with their own Top 25. Read on.

The Adventures of an Asshole

posted by Kai, 2000-05-23 at 11:37
kai-thedeadassassin joins us as a new columnist, using stories of his life to give some sense of meaning to yours.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-04-25 at 21:39
"Truth does not need any explanation. It needs only to be seen."

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-04-13 at 15:35
But you know, even though you're totally evil and want to kill everyone, you still have morals.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-04-06 at 15:35
But you know, even though you're totally evil and want to kill everyone, you still have morals.

Rob and Dave and Life

posted by rob and dave, 2000-03-21 at 13:30
Rob and Dave are back... Sit back, get a cup of coffee, and click a link. "Money's Tight, Times are hard. Here's your Fucking Birthday Card."

Shades of Grey

posted by Grey Warden, 2000-03-18 at 08:45
editor's note: grey wanted me to think of something meaningful to put as a description here.... however, after reading this column, i am unable to say anything to match how powerful it is. all i can say is to read this one. it's worth it.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-03-15 at 21:35
Why the fuck am I standing in the living room naked? I'm supposed to be sleeping in the bathtub.

Dominique and Sex.

posted by dominique, 2000-02-23 at 14:45
Dominique deals with the critics, erections, and more.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-02-22 at 23:55
Are we there yet?

Shades of Grey

posted by Grey Warden, 2000-02-18 at 08:45
This column is horrible, folks, but it carries a good point.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-02-17 at 00:15
I may already be a winner!

Shades of Grey

posted by Grey Warden, 2000-02-11 at 11:00
What is the purpose of emotion?

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-02-10 at 00:15
Yeah, well, I faked every orgasm, so fuck you too!

Dominique and Sex.

posted by dominique, 2000-02-09 at 08:45
Dominique deals with the critics, erections, and more.

Rob and Dave and Life

posted by rob and dave, 2000-02-07 at 12:55
The good news is dear, the airbags work!

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-02-02 at 22:25
I have to lift my shirt for him- but I promise I will be tactful about it.

Shades of Grey

posted by Grey Warden, 2000-01-31 at 18:15
Does your outward appearance affect your inward character?

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-01-27 at 18:00
Meet me at the arcade Rufis... ~Jessica: Smjor delivers some cold revenge for the evil ex.

Dominique and Sex.

posted by dominique, 2000-01-27 at 14:45
Dominique deals with the critics, erections, and more.

Rob and Dave and Life

posted by rob and dave, 2000-01-26 at 00:45
Into the Nothings - A quick legal review: Survival of the fittest... for the new millenium.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-01-20 at 16:09
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me!

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-01-12 at 09:16
Insert clever catchphrase here: Smjor deals with bi friends and older guys this week.

Shades of Grey

posted by Grey Warden, 2000-01-10 at 10:10
cynical at some times, thoughtful at others, Grey Warden is a welcome addition to the whatthefuck.com team... check him out! :)

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 2000-01-06 at 09:00
Oh God! Not the evil clowns again! No, please, no!: Smjor deals with relationships and more this week.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 1999-12-27 at 00:00
A nice slice of pastrami in the sandwich of life: Our advice columnist strikes again with some words about friends with benefits.

Rob and Dave and Life

posted by rob and dave, 1999-12-23 at 10:20
Rob and Dave wish you warm Season's Greetings as they help you survive the holiday season.

Smjör!

posted by smjor, 1999-12-06 at 01:00
While everyone who knows her thinks otherwise, she dubs herself the 'Oracle of Knowledge'. If you need advice, or just a shoulder to cry on, talk to her -- because we don't care. You guessed it -- it's wtf's own advice columnist.

Rob and Dave and Life

posted by rob and dave, 1999-11-08 at 01:10
Rob and Dave's second column hits us with advice for a pleasant flying experience.

security@whatthefuck.com

posted by oZ, 1999-10-28 at 12:55

Rob and Dave and Life

posted by rob and dave, 1999-10-25 at 01:00
Our new columnists, Rob and Dave, explain how to live life in today's world.

HTML Rant

posted by abdul, 1999-10-08 at 12:10
HTML is a privilege, not a right.

State of Chaos Address

posted by oZ, 1999-09-29 at 14:55
oZ welcomes you to your new home.