the monday wtf

eight maids a-milkin'

welcome to the eighth edition of the monday wtf, where we "celebrate" the inane, stupid, crazy, distasteful, and just plain weird crap that has happened in the past week. this doesn't necessarily limit itself to the internet, or just whatthefuck.com, but sometimes those are the easy pickings. if you'd like to submit something that you feel should be highlighted, information on how to do so is at the bottom of this column, and every column hereafter.

sorry about the hiatus, life got in the way. luckily, the world continues to be ridiculous, so feel free to send stuff our way. if you'll forgive me, this won't be limited to a week.

since you can't help but try to recoup your losses -- even after a massive pr win -- the insurers for the plane that landed in the hudson river after a bird strike are auctioning the fucking plane off. oddly, they don't really mention why the scrap is for sale, and it doesn't include any of the avionics, but it seems in remarkably good shape.

across the pond in great britain, the leading party is now inventing new laws at a rate of 33 per month, or more than one per day. not content with just outlawing murder or theft, they include such gems as making it illegal to cause a nuclear explosion, or swim in the wreck of the Titanic. great work, we feel safe now.

those of us in the united states became accustomed to the bush administration continually pissing off the middle east during their war on terrorism, and word had it a few months ago that some of our firearms had biblical texts inscribed in them. turns out, it wasn't just our weapons. british and australian forces were using rifles with biblical references as well, and i'm sure any artillery picked up by enemy forces were thrilled to find out that we were, in fact, in a holy war.

a saltmarsh sparrow, found on the coast of connecticut, is the world's most promiscuous bird. i guess it's not just the humans that are bored to tears out there.

turns out the 2010 winter olympics in vancouver wasn't a complete economic bust, as sex workers did very well during the games.

sometimes, a company makes a mistake and owns up to it, creating goodwill toward the company and bringing customer back to them. some, like d&h distribution, send cease and desist letters to squelch bad press. you see, they shipped some processors to newegg, and newegg sold them to some customers. they were ridiculously fake "core" i7 processors. newegg is taking care of them. d&h can go to hell.

sometimes, i feel bad about ripping on florida. i hear it's great to be out in the sun, looking out at the ocean, hanging out in the penis of america. on the other hand, there's so much stupid that echoes out from that state that you have to wonder if something is seriously wrong. you see, it's not just politicians out there, or crazy old people. no, sometimes it's just women getting into accidents while shaving their pubes. it gets better, though. she was on her way to see her boyfriend, and her ex-husband was in the passenger seat. pressed for time, she has her ex hold the wheel while she trims in the land down under. the car then plows into other people. awesome.

let's just sum up our political system.

have a whatthefuck article, quote, event, video, or posting you think should be highlighted? email it to us, or you can submit via Twitter by starting your tweet with "@whatthefuck_com #mondaywtf".
outzider, the lead administrator of whatthefuck.com, only writes when he's bored or pissed off. he contributes to site announcement, board bullshit, and is also attempting to be a political columnist. you may send comments, questions, or suggestions to him at outzider@whatthefuck.com.
username: password: